I have taken up the practice of Kundalini Yoga and it is changing my life. Kundalini is your life force energy. In the Kundalini practice, it is believed that in those who are unawakened, their energy remains coiled at the base of their spine. For those who have an awakening event and become conscious, the energy spirals upwards, activating each chakra, and transitioning the being to a state of enlightenment. Otherwise known as awakening the snake. Trippy right!? Well if you know me, you know I am the first in line to sign up for trippy. So how did I end up down this incredible rabbit hole of awakening the snake? One word, Intuition. She will guide you to the magic if you learn to listen.
When I listen to my inner voice of knowing aka intuitive thoughts, they lead me to magical places. A great deal of faith and belief is required in this discovery practice because, truth be told, sometimes I think to myself where the hell is this going? But, it’s like building muscle in the body, it takes consistency and practice and over time the results start to compound, getting stronger and more recognizable.
My Kundalini journey all started with a session on a Reiki table. Several months back the path landed me on my friend's table feeling uninspired, lost, and broken. Life had become blurry, lost its luster and this is a really scary place to be. I kept telling all my friends I felt like I was in the pupa or the chrysalis. Life was dark and weird and I couldn’t connect the dots or think clearly. I knew I was in there for a reason, cooking and transforming but it was very uncomfortable and pretty much no one could relate to me, including me. I was desperate to try and activate my sacral chakra, the chakra that embodies your relationship to discovering and exploring your world through emotion, pleasure, connection, intimacy, and sexuality. It’s your power center and mine was flatlined. I am thankful it had enough of a spark left in it to lead me to Amber’s reiki table. I knew this life force energy was massively blocked and I was on a mission to tap into and awaken this part of me.
After the session, my friend recommended some homework and for the first time in my life, I was thrilled with the idea of homework! She offered me a Kundalini kriya called the Sudarshan Chakra Kriya. A kriya is a mediation that incorporates a specific posture alongside chanting, breathwork, and movement. This particular kriya invokes the kundalini energy to give you the necessary vitality and intuition to overcome the negative pressures of the subconscious mind. Sign me up! I started practicing the kriya every morning and I was dedicated to doing 11 minutes each day. This kriya is hard people and all kinds of voices showed up, in the beginning, saying things like Mariska, you can't do this or OMG I am gasping for a breath what the hell, or what if someone is watching me do this…the ego really wanted me to stop this ridiculousness! But I kept at it and things started to change! I started noticing my intuitive powers becoming louder and more obvious and I started following their directives. Google, where can I practice Kundalini in Austin?
Before I go on, I am feeling called to share that this was not my first engagement with this ancient practice. Years ago I did a little bit of Kundalini when I lived in LA. Golden Bridge was a studio in West LA lead by a very famous Kundalini teacher called Gurmukh who had a cult following. I would attend these classes ever so often. I loved being in the room filled with devotees. Mothers would bring their babies and toddlers and as soon as the practice started the wee ones would melt into the sheepskins and fall into a sort of trance, it was fascinating. There were a hundred students or more in these classes all with bright eyes and clear souls. I wanted what they had so I kept coming back, particularly on broken days when LA had gotten the best of me and depleted my soul with its indulgent luring pandora's box of madness. At the time I remember thinking, “awaken the snake? FUCK, I don’t know if I am ready for that, then what?” Something in me knew this practice was powerful and I never truly, fully engaged. I was fearful of that snake energy at the base of my spine and what she may awaken that I was not prepared to deal with at that time in my life.
So I found a class at a yoga studio downtown and signed right up! I fully drank the kool-aid in that first class. It was challenging and I could feel how it would continue to be challenging but I felt more alive and filled with joy than I had in way too long. I was on the path and I didn’t know where it was taking me but I was on the path and that was enough. I connected with the teacher so I looked on the studio schedule to see when her other classes were, dang it..only once a week but ok, I’ll take it for now. Under the events tab, there were a few more opportunities to engage in her energy. There was a women’s circle once a month and an upcoming Kundalini workshop on abundance. I signed up for both.
The women’s circle came first and happen to take place on Mother’s Day. We did a re-birth kriya which moved my soul significantly. The kundalini energy is allowing me to access parts of me I didn’t know existed. It is breaking open hidden doorways of blocked energy that suddenly come flooding in unannounced. I am learning how to welcome these feelings and just let them move through my body. It's like a full-body emotional cleanse. Some of these feelings overwhelm me with joy and some are dark and debilitating. What’s more debilitating is knowing they were in there so I return to the thought that I am shining light on them and releasing them from being part of me. Liberating myself from silently dragging them around and from them dragging me down. I knew I was carrying around stuff from my past but I had no idea how deep the well was, nor do I still. The abundance workshop was a portal to one of the most heart-opening breakthrough experiences of my life. The Kundalini energy revealed something so profound to me that it connected the dots all the way back to my childhood. Honestly, that experience deserves its own post so I promise, now that I have your attention, I will share that with you soon.
Since my experience on the Reiki table, I have been receiving a really strong message about a snake tattoo. At first, I dismissed it completely..weird thought, whatever. When it would creep back into my psyche I would shake it off like an annoying nat buzzing in my ear, just shoo fly that thought away! She persisted. I even found myself looking at snake tattoos online. I decided it was the kundalini snake energy wanting to make itself known and it's true, my fear of the snake and her snake energy had started to soften. And then it happened. I went to get the Aquarius tattoo on my finger finished and before I knew what I was saying, my tattoo artist was inking the lines of a beautiful little snake on the inside of my wrist. My husband came around the corner and said, “I didn’t know you were getting that.” And my reply was, “neither did I.” I love her. She is small but mighty. She is pointing away from me so she is protecting me. She is one with me. She is me. But also, since snakes shed their skin she represents re-birth, transformation, healing, fertility, and the creative life force divine.
I am excited to see where this journey takes me. I cannot pretend to have any idea where that might be but these are the things I know about the trip. Kundalini is a gift and I am so glad I answered the call to practice. Kundalini will help me continue to clean out the emotional baggage I am now willing to expose and release forever. Being alive in the snake energy has me grounded in a new kind of unshakeable power. Kundalini teacher training is in my future.
For now, I will leave you with this thought. You are the creator of your own reality. Go out there and create something amazing. Turn over every stone. Climb every mountain. Reach for every star. Use Joy as your compass. And maybe even, when you’re ready, awaken the snake coiled at the base of your spine waiting to greet you and change everything for you, forever.